It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize