woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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