i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
soo... how was my night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
