I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
