just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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