This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
