Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I would fuck him just for his dog
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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