so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
