I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
