whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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