This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Someone signed my nipple.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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