the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize