The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
