I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
