it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
