When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
