She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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