she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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