FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
