covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
