I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
