do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
