I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
