i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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