So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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