I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
