I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
