we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
