My room smells like vodka and shame
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize