We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
