so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize