New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize