Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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