Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
