I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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