I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
