I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
