Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
