Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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