I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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