There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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