The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I take back everything I said about communal showers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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