Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
