Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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