Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
