I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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