Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
