I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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