Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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