matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
50% drunk capacity currently
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
