my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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