Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
