i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
