What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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