Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize