This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
