I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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